[SkateDC] Snowpocalypse Now! [Off Topic]

Fri Feb 5 14:45:48 PST 2010

Well, if you don't have a sled, don't think you can use your boogie board instead.

They seem to be covered in some sort of fabric that tends to grip the snow rather than slide on the snow (probably because they were designed to used in the water and to be jumped on with wet feet).

So trudged up a hill near my house with my boogie board and placed it on the top of the slope.  Sat on the board and away we go.  Weeeeeeeeeee...  

Only the board wouldn't budge.  No matter what I did to encourage it to do so.  This included everything from bouncing up and down on it, to scooting it forward by emulating a dog with an impacted anal gland.  Not only was this a great deal of work it was entirely fruitless work. 

Finally decided to use the boogie board like you might on the beach.  You know, run up to it, jump on the board, and skim over the shallow water. 

Ran up to the board (not easy to do in two feet of snow), jumped on it, and strangely enough the board did not skim over the snow like it I had supposed it would.  In fact, the board did nothing more than sink deeper in the snow.  I, however, flew down the hill carried by my momentum.  Eventually made contact with the snow leaving an impact crater that looked strangely like a snow angel.   Except in a traditional snow angel I don't think it is acceptable for there to be nose and chin impressions.

This would have placed pretty high on my list of most embarrassing moments except for the fact that I've been working on that list for a very long time, and something like this, embarrassing as it may have been, doesn't even crack the top 25.

Lucky for me, no one actually saw this happen.  So, in the "tree falling in the forest making no noise"-sense, it never really happened.

Cheers,
George

--- On Fri, 2/5/10, seasun31 at yahoo.com <seasun31 at yahoo.com> wrote:

From: seasun31 at yahoo.com <seasun31 at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [SkateDC] Snowpocalypse Now! [Off Topic]
To: "George Marinkovich" <skatewash at yahoo.com>, skatedc-bounces at ligemail.lig.net, "Jubran Selim" <sm4sm at aol.com>, "WAR Skate List" <skatedc at skatedc.org>
Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 4:42 PM

The only thing I wanted that the store I went to was out of... Sleds :(
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: George Marinkovich <skatewash at yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 5 Feb 2010 13:33:15 
To: Jubran Selim<sm4sm at aol.com>; WAR Skate List<skatedc at skatedc.org>
Subject: Re: [SkateDC] Snowpocalypse Now! [Off Topic]

Indeed!  You can't consume those emergency supplies, because if you do that then you won't have any emergency supplies left.  Hence the need to acquire even more supplies...  At least this cycle keeps people busy enough that they never really have the time to think, and realize how dire their situation really is.

Forget about fragile bones, I now see the best reason to include eggs as an essential survival ingredient:  to make French Toast.  A much worthier goal.

--- On Fri, 2/5/10, Jubran Selim <sm4sm at aol.com> wrote:

From: Jubran Selim <sm4sm at aol.com>
Subject: Re: [SkateDC] Snowpocalypse Now! [Off Topic]
To: "George Marinkovich" <skatewash at yahoo.com>, "WAR Skate List" <skatedc at skatedc.org>
Date: Friday, February 5, 2010, 4:15 PM

I think it is important to note, and this is a little documented fact, that 
under no circumstances during a snow emergency are you allowed to consume the 
milk, bread, eggs and toilet paper which you purchased the day before the 
horrific forecast, which was only three days ago.  You must go back to the 
store and purchase more of everything you bought just those three days 
ago.

Researchers are still trying to determine the exact need for this.  
Some have postulated that consumers fear that their household population might 
increase during the time of the snow emergency.  Others believe that it is 
merely a primeval reaction, genetically built into us from the days when a harsh 
winter out in the wilderness could mean certain death.  If only we could 
get our genes to realize that we now live in an age of a 7 eleven or a CVS 
around every corner and that we have developed the technology to clear the 
streets within one or two days of the aforementioned snow emergency.

One other theory being contemplated is that many consumers worry that 
snowplow crews will break down in front of their homes and they want to have 
enough supplies to make French Toast for them.

Right now Home Depot is probably out of snow blowers too.........

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: 
  George 
  Marinkovich 
  To: WAR Skate List 
  Sent: Friday, February 05, 2010 3:45 
  PM
  Subject: [SkateDC] Snowpocalypse Now! 
  [Off Topic]

coming soon to a major metropolitan area near you... 20 to 30 
  inches of wet heavy snow possible.

I hope everyone has had the 
  opportunity before the snow hits to obtain the three absolute essentials, 
  without which human life as we know it is unsustainable:

1. milk
2. 
  bread
3. toilet paper *

Why are these the three essentials? In 
  addition to providing nourishment and comfort, in an emergency they can all be 
  combined to make a fully functional cast. If you add eggs to the mix it will 
  set up even quicker. Indeed, some people believe eggs should be added as the 
  fourth essential for this very reason, but I would only go this far if you 
  know from experience that your bones break easily.

Just think, if the 
  Donner party had simply had any two of these three essentials, well, we 
  wouldn't even know who they were today. Even if the Donner party had only one 
  of the essentials it would have been a different story than the one we know 
  today. In fact, if they had only the last essential, while the story would 
  have probably turned out more or less the same, I'll bet it would be told in a 
  very different way. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party

I 
  happened to be at Costco this afternoon and found the following conditions: 
  out of milk (Big deal you say. Maybe, but under normal demand conditions 
  Costco stocks enough milk to sell a gallon to every third person who lives in 
  Gaithersburg), dangerously low on toilet paper (but still a few 48-roll packs 
  remaining so they hadn't resorted to rationing yet), and while bread was in 
  short supply it was still available.

Speaking of the Donner party, if 
  you become snowbound this weekend you might want to keep a wary eye on your 
  companions. Sure, they may not be hungry now, but remember, it's going to be a 
  long weekend. Sleep lightly.

* http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/05/AR2005120502269.html 
  disputes whether toilet paper is actually one of the three essentials, but as 
  someone pointed out: "anyone who eats that much bread and milk probably needs 
  all that toilet paper."

At times like these it can be a comfort to 
  remember: It's never too late to panic!

Best 
  wishes,
George

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