[SkateDC] Classic Skate Report From 2002

[Bill English]

[SkateDC] Bees? Hornets? Wasps? We Still Don't Know. George Marinkovich skatewash at yahoo.com 
Mon, 12 Aug 2002 14:49:09 -0700 (PDT) 
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________________________________

Emily,

When I first read your moving account of the events of
this Sunday past I was of course, well ... moved. 
However, I quickly became concerned that possibly a
reader of that account could be led into making some
kind of association between "***" and "Jubran."  Let
me be very clear about this:  I can unequivocally
state that *** is not, nor ever has been Jubran, and
any suggestion to the contrary is just plain wrong.  I
know Jubran well, Jubran is a friend of mine, and the
Jubran I know would never become disoriented and lead
a group of hapless skater off into oblivion by making
the wrong turn on MacArthur.  

Understand, I don't say this is impossible under all
circumstances, but it is extremely unlikely under the
conditions that existed on Sunday.  For example, had
the skate route been in Northern Virginia, say
Arlington or Alexandria, then yes, under these severe
conditions, Jubran could have become lost (I know this
is possible because it has even happened to me).  But
this was in DC -- Jubran's backyard -- and I think
it's nearly unthinkable that he would have made such
an egregious mistake.  Just to drive the final nail
into the coffin (so to speak) of this scurrilous
innuendo, let me just point out that Jubran's name has
six letters, and if my count is correct, this
nefarious individual's name only has three letters. 
Need I say more!  

I, for one, will not rest until this colossal calumny
has been thoroughly discredited.  It just wasn't
Jubran, folks, and everyone should be ashamed of
themselves for entertaining that notion even for a
fleeting instant.  I must point out in the interests
of full disclosure that Jubran (like this misguided
and directionless skater) does have a cell phone.  But
then lots of skaters have cell phones (I have one
myself!).  I just hope that an incident of this sort
will never happen again, and if it does I implore
people not to suspect Jubran (even for an instant) of
being responsible.  

I wish this sort of reply wasn't necessary, but in our
crazy, mixed-up world it sadly is, and I just could
not in good conscience leave the implication hanging
out there in the breeze, twisting in the wind as it
were. I am now much relieved that Jubran's
navigational reputation has been restored to it's
heretofore un-sullied status.  My work here is done...

George (also not three letters!)

--- Emily Bennett <citiskate at yahoo.com> wrote:
> 
> Yes, there were some lessons learned on yesterday's
> skate, mainly by yours truly. 
> It started out innocently enough... 
> I was the leader of the intermediate skate which
> essentially morphed into a combined
> intermediate/advanced skate when Marshall's
> impending nuptials prevented him from leading the
> advanced route. (We had a moment of silence in your
> honor, Marshall). 
> Up 18th to Adams Morgan, over Rock Creek to Embassy
> Loop, down Mass Ave and up P to Wisconsin..the skate
> proceeded well, with rest, shade, and water on a
> Code Red day. 
> The next part of the skate took an unintended turn,
> as we skated up Wisconsin and down the big swoopy
> hills of Reservoir to MacArthur. But Reservoir also
> has a bit of an uphill near the end and I was
> concerned about stragglers, so I asked *** to stay
> at the top of that uphill and sweep. He agreed, and
> I skated down to the CVS on MacArthur to meet the
> main group. 
> The minutes tick by, and no sign of the sweep.
> Hmmm...where are they? I ask Chuck to skate up to
> see if he can find them. Off he goes, more minutes
> pass, and now I am missing the end of the skate plus
> Chuck. 
> Urk. 
> I skate a little ways back up MacArthur to see if I
> can spot Chuck's green jersey, and my phone
> rings...it's ***. He has taken the skaters he was
> sweeping in the other direction (whoops) on
> MacArthur and they are now headed to Georgetown. Oh,
> well...meet us at the Capital Crescent
> trailhead...we'll be there in about half an hour.
> Chuck zooms back and we are finally able to proceed.
> 
> Out MacArthur, left on Arizona (and the waviest
> asphalt in DC), up Palisades Rd NW to the beautiful
> Potomac overlooks. We skate along to the reservoir
> at the end of the road. From here, I have scoped out
> a little gravelly wooded trail that descends along
> the wall of the reservoir to meet the Capital
> Crescent trail. Sounds good, no? 
> No. Not good. Not good at all.  
> The path was dry, with sand and gravel. It is a
> steeper descent than I bargained for, with wheels on
> your feet you simply fly. There is a great commotion
> as gravity takes over and skaters are sliding,
> rolling, slipping, clinging to the chain link fence
> wall of the reservoir, to trees, to other skaters.
> Then the pandemonium turns to chaos as the skaters
> ahead of me start screeching, slapping and
> hollering. 
> "Omigod, OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  My left arm is
> suddenly on fire. I'm basically out of control right
> now. I careen into Shane and crash hard on my
> kneepads. 
> Skaters ahead of me are yelling, scrambling. I lurch
> to my feet, roll the rest of the way down to the
> CCT, and turn around to see the most spectacular
> display of skater gymnastics I've ever seen as Meg
> is leaping, swatting, screaming all at the same
> time. 
> The first lesson I learn from the skate is that it
> is much, MUCH safer to play in traffic. 
> Apparently we have disturbed the nest of some
> fearsome flying, stinging, warrior insects and they
> are ready willing and able to defend the security of
> their homeland. The first two or three skaters get
> past the nest (an old hollow stump) with no problem,
> but the (bees? hornets? wasps? we're still not sure)
> swarm out and attack the rest of the group. We have
> casualties: Mark is hit twice on the leg, I get
> nailed on my arm, Alisha is stung in the lip, and
> Meg counts four stings on her legs and one on her
> foot when the (bee? hornet? wasp?) got down in her
> skate boot. 
> Yikes. 
> And now we have a real problem. Because about six or
> seven skaters are now stranded on the trail,
> unwilling to tangle with the (bees? hornets? wasps?)
> and I can't say that I blame them, but how are we
> gonna get them down to the CCT? My phone rings and
> Lesly tells me that they have scoped out a way down
> the very steep hill and that Bob Schwartz was
> already making his descent. Sure enough, Bob came
> out of the woods a few yards ahead of us, followed
> by Dave, Meg, Lesly and others. We're all safely on
> the CCT now. Whew. 
> Back to those stings for the moment. We were damn
> fortunate. None of the skaters who were stung was
> allergic to the venom of the (bees? hornets?
> wasps?). We did have some medical personnel with us,
> but nobody with the necessary equpiment in case
> anyone had gone into anaphylactic shock. I had a
> cellphone, but I'm sure it would have taken some
> time to get assistance if any of the skaters had
> been allergic to the stings or broken an ankle or
> wrist while sliding down that trail or climbing down
> the hill. 
> So that's my second lesson learned: Be prepared. For
> damn near anything. 
> The rest of the skate was anticlimactic...down the
> CCT, up K street to Penna to the White House, lunch
> at Harry's. 
> To Mark, Meg, and Alisha: I hope your stings faded
> as quickly as mine did. My arm is still a wee bit
> tender, but redness and swelling were minimal. You
> all deserve a "Purple Bearing" Medal for injuries
> received while skating with WAR. 
> To everyone on the skate yesterday: Thanks for
> continuing to enjoy yourselves even in the midst of
> chaos and pandemonium. You are the best and I'm
> proud to be a Washington Area Trailskater! 
> 
> 
>